New Olympic Hopeful

(Goshen, Indiana)
It’s as it should be in sports…Olympic Committee officials scour the world for new competitive sports every four years. Civilization and human competition have evolved since Greece hosted those first games, and fortunately, newly added competitions and exhibition games parallel the athletic movements of mankind. This year, Olympic hopeful Ed Slater sits patiently in the -4 degree Celsius winterscape to see if his specialty is voted into existence. Mr. Slater’s winter sport is known as tropic boasting tolerance. Millions of Northern Hemisphere dwellers have to endure calls from snow bird friends and vacationing loved ones every winter. Sometimes, the cackling and bragging just won’t quit. But, Ed has developed an extraordinary ability to tolerate the crowing. He pushes the envelope with congratulatory conciliation borne out of unconditional affection. He has learned his sport in spite of brutal ice packed Northern Indiana landscape, deadly wind chill, and curtains of zero visibility snow. In the Phone Call Nationals, he regularly scores above 9.85 during the tedious months of January and February. In the last three years, Mr. Slater has distinguished himself with an unprecedented improvement in “style” points. If Olympians add tropic boasting tolerance to its slate of winter games, look for Ed Slater on the podium.