Monday, June 24, 2013

Movie Review...World War Z

If I'd known this was a Zombie movie, I'd have run away to some haven safe from undead film makers. On the other hand, the definition of intensity gets its 5-minute pedigree in WWZ. At least, its first few minutes of excitement make this film look like a dozen sticks of dynamite. But, then there's the dreaded specter of a cred-killing Zombie theme. “Oh, tie me up and kidnap me to somewhere they don't have any Zombie movies”, I told myself while I tried to shake off unconsciousness from the disappointment. Really, my attention span drizzled away like orange blood, and I didn't care what the rest of this story had for me. Actually, WWZ is based on dud assumptions and slug science. That sums it up. This is a very large budget dud. Ok, there were a couple of highlights, but they didn't belong in a Zombie movie. I like persistence and courage, and some showed up. I like characters who keep their promises, and I like films that respect family role models. World War Z has a sub-theme that supports good role model behavior, but it's clear that neither the author nor the screenwriters took high school courses in science. The director succumbs to a temptation to overkill, and he makes mincemeat out of scenes that couldn't make it if they lasted more than a half second. I'm giving this movie 2 points simply because I was engaged for a minute or two. On a ten scale, it's 2/10. Run away before you're bitten.



World War Z...Point of View Review by one of the Zombies

I wasn't always a Zombie, but lately I've been feeling kinda “blah”. Why? Because I was that undead guy who was at the bottom of the pile at the Jerusalem wall. How would you like it if a thousand creepies all climbed up on your bod just to hike up to the top of the wall? Believe me, it's sweaty and super crushing in there. Did the movie make it in the realism department? Not for me! I didn't even see Brad Pitt. He was in those closeup scenes where it was cool and comfortable. I'll be darned if I'll pay 8 bucks to go see Brad Pitt in my own movie. And, who picked the Zombie who kept clicking his teeth. I could do that twice as good. If you read one of those big time professional reviews, see what they say about the Zombies...nothing good. We're people, too, Bud. Who yelled “Get a life”? Hey...where's the professional respect? I don't care how good or bad this film was for you, because it was a confidence killer for me. This was a demeaning role for me, and I'm not happy about just getting crushed and then burned by that helicopter with the flame thrower.

10 comments:

Fetzer Bontrager said...

Are you implying this film was beneath Brad Pitt? I like him.

Peter d'Saint said...

Zombie movies are so easy for lazy filmmakers, because they're not real. ....Are they?

Sisk L. Evergene said...

Kertesz is the obvious role model. She needs to be central in a Part 2.

A-Sheetz M-draz said...

This is the lousy-est judgmental review of a great movie I've ever read. WWZ is the most dynamic excitement film of 2013. This movie is going to garner all kinds of nominations and awards. Brad Pitt is in it, and for hells bells, that proves it. Get yourself some reality pills.

Ebert Rogers said...

Just another breakout movie? Review is too short for such an imaginative film.

Subber said...

Another Agency employee reactivated...just like in a dozen other movies, and Pitted against evil.

Flask Wash Inc said...

Worthy review although acutely slanted. Unworthy film. Straight.

Brunson Ed said...

World War Zzzzzzz zzzzz zzzz

Speelin' Steveberg said...

Well, that Zombie review really cleared things up. I'm glad I never took on one of those "undead" projects.

Ein Stone said...

What is slug science?