Monday, March 1, 2010

Movie Review... The Box


As a film, The Box is empty. It's devoid of normal human values, and the actors couldn't save it from collapsing in a chaotic podge of freshman directorship. Were those quirky aberrations included for allegoric texture? Couldn't tell. Was this a story snipped and pasted from 5 other box office whack jobs? If so, the best snips are still on the cutting room floor.

Was Cameron Diaz just for box office draw? I'm pretty sure of that.

Think of what this movie could have been. With a story that made sense, it could have been called "The Aha Box with Random Pangs of Psychopathic Film Making". If there had been story continuity, the movie could have passed as "Frankenstein Hosts Let's Make a Deal On A Steek".

But, there is no continuity, and there is abundant lack of sense. Also, this whacker comes with a no money back guarantee. I hesitate to rate this movie, but if pushed to do so, I'd award a 1 on the customary ten scale. Save your money.

11 comments:

RT 769 said...

Richard Kelly's downward spiral continues with what is a pretty grueling bastardization of a rather clever story from Richard Matheson. All moral conflicts and creepy allusions are lost in a barrage of ridiculous plot devices, and a story that makes absolutely no sense.

RT 115 said...

To expect him to play it straight, rather than veering headlong into the inexplicable, would be to underestimate his vivid, sometimes impenetrable imagination. What M. Night Shyamalan is to last-second twists, Kelly is to obfuscation.

It involves a government conspiracy to perform tests on married couples with children, the drones who monitor them, and the man who created the box, Arlington Lewis Steward.

Steward is played by Frank Langella, master of menacing gravitas, here horribly scarred by an errant lightning bolt. The director's warped imagination contrives tiny treasures to be found here and there.

Frizzel said...

Sinister, tense and at times ridiculous, The Box is a warped genre piece – the director's homage to 1970s science-fiction, with all the wobbly effects, timid housewives and pseudo-religious imagery that suggests.

Digital Spy said...

A certain word that rhymes with "manure" certainly sums up the artistic merits of The Box, a tedious and often excruciating production.

Bennett, Spectrum said...

This box needed a STOP button

Goat Dog Sez said...

The only way to get your money's worth out of The Box is to walk away from the ticket counter without paying.

Fetzer Bontrager said...

What do you say when you wish you could have that 2 hours back?

Slang in a Sling said...

this movie was featured on my last trip to infinity

Jeff Dunn Hammond said...

Let's Make a Deal on a Steek is copywrited by the Jalapeno guy. You've stolen a hot property.

postmaster said...

Cardboard box. Small label. Return to sender.

Kielbasa Man said...

These comments are freakin' wierd, but that's why I read this raggy blog. Love at first sight.