The Big Triple is proud to announce the April 2009 Win a Trip to Infinity Contest
Rules:
Write a comment containing all the following:
1. The words "hot" and "jargon"
2. A convincing statement of how much you like organic, free range, cage free spinach
3. No more than 100 words
4. Description of an imaginary pet psychology session
5. Where would you like to depart from if you win?
Bon appetit
21 comments:
If I'm lucky enough to win, can I drive my own car? Will I get mileage?
How will I get back? Is this a trick that my ex girlfriend suggested?
I love to eat hot creamed spinach from my neighbor's fertilizer free garden. It's yummy for my tummy. My pet goat Hector and I eat turnips, carrots, rutabaga, and spinach when it's in season. At our last psychoanalysis session, Hector described his emotional scarring from eating canned vegetables. It's the chemcals, he bleated. Our analyst assigned a sensitivity project, where we write down all the details of Hector's inner fears since early goathood. We'd like to fly out of Hawaii.
That's not an imaginary session, dummy. It sounds real.
Is this a movie review? If it is, I want to see it.
My friend Doc has been out to infinity and back twice. It seems to have made him very happy.
Around America, there are doubtlessly hundreds of big thinkers preparing contest essays. I can feel it in my chin whiskers. Baaaa
Hee Haw. Hee Haw.
What country is Infinity in? Russia?
Contestant #2... Schmitt and Little Schmitt
We would rocket out into space from Vancouver. Little Schmitt and I love to eat organic, free range, cage free spinach, chicken, duck, spotted owl, snail darters, and cheese. I send Little Schmitt to regular couch sessions at Doctor Kuhn's. Kuhn is really good. He knows what questions to ask. I think Little is making good headway at his sessions. He doesn't get upset when I question his humanness. How's that for hot jargon?
Can I win by buying the judge a Heineken?
Is Little Schmitt an animal or a kid?
When I went to infinity, my space ship overshot, and we crash landed in Skokie.
Oh, that's so lame! Ole just rewrote the same thing I said. If he wins, I'm sending in an appeal.
It's Sunday, you fools. No lying today. You're not going to infinity. More likely to Wendys if you're lucky. And they don't allow mules.
I want to go to infinity because it's probably quiet there. No rules, no "jargon" in the paragraph. No goats or whatever. When do we leave?
With gas prices the way they are, we'd better declare a winner and blast off. How far is infinity?
Remember to throttle back just before reaching Max-Q. At infinity, can you legally divide by zero?
Yes. And you can brush your teeth with your own foot. Crikey! I hope the crocodiles get Whatcome before he comes back from infinity.
Cuckoo Bird! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Fly me outta here, cuckoo bird.
Here in Infinity Launch Control, we're waiting for radio confirmation that the goat herder reached the halfway point. We suspect that he took over manually and diverted to Lake Geneva. Watch it, Moe! Your trip insurance cuts off in July.
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