Twelve years before Lincoln freed the slaves, T. O. Scarpacci travelled from Philadelphia to Waltham, Massachusetts to deliver his SHR hair restoration tonic to his first customer, Baldy Moseley. Undeterred by slow carriage service and lame trotters, Scarpacci walked from Albany to Springfield, Massachusetts in order to keep his promised delivery date at the Moseley residence. The Scarpacci restoration miracle caused an instant stir in the Boston suburb. Income from that first sale allowed the inventor to buy a new pair of button shoes, which he broke in during his return trip. Unfortunately, the only remaining flask of SHR and the new shoes were stolen by bandits along the Albany Swamp Road. Scarpacci could never duplicate his SHR recipe because his wife threw out all his notes. He later joined the Amish community in Topeka, Indiana.
There are 12 morals to be gleaned from this historical fact. Commenters are welcome to try to guess what those morals are.
11 comments:
Wait until the slaves are freed?
Stay away from swamps?
Get Joe Biden to do your advertising?
Finally a picture of Dishonest Abe.
Stay out of Massachusetts and New York
treat your trotters right
or trot your treaters
Fix the roads around Albany
it's the shoes
Hey, Scarpacci, you could sure use some of that SHR potion now. haha
This man resembles Grandma Wortinger
This man has been washing dishes at Das Dutchman Essenhaus
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